


These Sorrows and Feelings We Bare

by DragonFire44



Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Angst, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Emotions, Explicit Sexual Content, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Why can you not move tags around - that should be a thing, never tagged before, semi rape, these two are not big on communication but words are needed here
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-20
Updated: 2020-08-20
Packaged: 2021-03-06 23:46:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,932
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26007457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonFire44/pseuds/DragonFire44
Summary: “Wanted what?” Natsu spoke softly, barely a whisper partly afraid he’d shatter this; whatever this was and lose something he couldn’t live without.Gray cupped Natsu’s cheek with a trembling hand, “I wanted to save you too.”Natsu’s lips trembled and he tried to swallow around the tightness in his throat.“Gray…”
Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster
Comments: 2
Kudos: 49





	These Sorrows and Feelings We Bare

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer - I do not own
> 
> First attempt at Fairy Tail  
> Hopefully both are in character. 
> 
> This is Gratsu

The walls were a light gray but looked darker with the glow of fire light. There was no windows this far down in the small mansion, though they flickered as one swiftly moved down the corridor. 

Moving with swift purpose a young male with dark hair and blue eyes and long dark navy blue coat aimed for a lone door hidden at the end of the corridor. 

Not many came this far down, the lack of windows and empty rooms held little importance was a deterrent. Really going this deep down in the mansion was really only for those who wanted to go to the dungeon. It was after all held the lowest and deepest place. 

He however was stopping just above the dungeons. 

He came to a halt in front if his destination, feeling the dark; black markings on his pale skin shift as if they ached at what lay beyond. 

His heart beat faster in anticipation. He’d wanted this for so many years…

With an eager breath he yanked the door open, it glided smoothly. A bright white light illuminated the room, a medium desk sat in one corner a door not far that led to a personalized bathroom. Convenient considering how far down this room was. 

But what caught his attention lay on the king sized bed, a lightly bronze male with a white scaly scarf wound at the neck and soft looking pink hair framing a fair face. His black over coat lay discarded over the back of the desk chair.

Gray’s breath hitched at the sleeping dragon-slayer. He hadn’t seen Natsu in a year. He’d been furious when he’d first heard from Lucy that Natsu had taken off with just a letter as a goodbye. Followed by a deep slithering ach of despair that Natsu had left without even telling him… 

Left without even letting him come with him.

It shouldn’t have hurt so much, Natsu was his best friend. Just his best friend; though he’d harbored more than ‘just friends’ for years. 

It had started off as a crush after he’d gotten over his hatred of the brash, reckless fire dragon slayer. Looking back at it now he could pinpoint that it had started with the younger boys tears. Something about seeing the young slayer so vulnerable had made his heart twinge and his gut to clench. And he’d vowed to himself to always try to make sure that Natsu didn’t shed any sad tears. 

It was wrong on so many levels to see someone like Natsu, who was so energetic, and cheerful and bright like the sun to be reduced to the clogging mess of tears. 

But he’d held back on ever telling the pinkette of his feelings. One because he was sure that Natsu was in love with Lisanna and even when she’d supposedly died he couldn’t bring himself to tell Natsu during the time of his grieving. Natsu had never really recovered from that. Not till Lucy anyway. And she, she was a separate burn all together.

When Natsu slowly started to get better after Lisanna, it was because of the blonde girl he’d brought home with him. It was something he couldn’t really fathom. After he’d been there for Natsu, he’d bring Natsu into a brawl whenever he noticed the slayer was down, or being too quiet. Or he’d find Natsu at the river bed and start an argument and a fight just so Natsu didn’t have time to think about being sad or worse cry.

And yet something about Lucy was bringing Natsu closer to how he used to be before Lisanna’s death.

It burned in his chest, such a deep ache of resentment that he knew if he could of looked at it, it would be such an ugly color of black. He’d had to remind himself constantly that Natsu’s happiness was more important than who made him happy.  
Even though it should have been him; that brought a smile to Natsu face.

He’d chocked back the feelings because it wasn’t Lucy’s fault and he shouldn’t blame her (even though a part of him did); and that was the other reason why he hadn’t confessed his feelings.

Lucy.

Natsu had even taken to sleeping at her apartment, in her bed; had even gone so far as to go on missions with her. It was maddening. Natsu had always been more of a solo type – save Happy of course, primarily because of his destructive tendencies. Not that Natsu wouldn’t jump to go on a higher rank mission; like an S-rank with Erza or Mira if given the chance.

He’d thought with the arrival of the celestial mage that he’d lost his chance with Natsu.

He’d told himself many times that seeing that blinding grin on Natsu’s face again was worth keeping quiet. 

He’d be happy watching Natsu from a distance so long has he is happy and cheerful; as long as he brought light to his life and those around him. 

But watching from a far only brought resentment. For with each passing day he’d notice the covert flushing looks Lucy would give Natsu. And though Natsu didn’t seem to notice, Gray figured it was only a matter of time before they were dating. 

And it hurt. 

The thought of seeing them holding hands, laughing together; being happy together made his chest tight and his heart squeeze.  
It should have been him.

He’d known Natsu longer then Lucy. What did Lucy have that he didn’t?

Dark whispers said it was probably because she was a girl, and he wasn’t. Or because she was bubbly, cheerful in a way he wasn’t. Or even because fire and ice just didn’t mix. And his cold personality would never be able to thaw the fire that Natsu is.  
Perhaps they would always just be rivals. 

While he drowned Erza came along and he was roped on a team with them. 

That was both a blessing and a curse. Because while it gave him time to spend with Natsu without having to pick a fight it also meant he had to be around Lucy.

He’d always look forward to the times they went to a Hot spring – he got to see Natsu practically naked. He’d had to be careful about ogling the younger teen. The added bonus being the girls wouldn’t be there.

There were even times that they had to share a room; unfortunately not a bed. If he could feign sleep he might be able to covertly stare at Natsu when he changed. Both events took a lot of will.

But primarily he had to see Natsu and Lucy interact too much. And he had to deal with Erza on top of that.

Things might have been simpler if he’d just been able to content himself with the brawls, and the small amount of touching he got to do to Natsu. But it just wasn’t enough. And deep down, he’d known it never would be.

He’d made do with the situation. Looking back now, it was quite the miracle he’d never jumped Natsu or pinned him to the bed and just ravaged him. 

He bit his lip just thinking about what kind of faces Natsu would make as he touched him, as he kissed him in various places. The noises he’d make.

His member twitched and he swallowed tightly. He’d had so many fantasies over the years. But they were only that. And he’d never know for sure that way. 

He’d struggled with indecision for a long time, and then Tartaros happened. And with it his devil-slaying magic came to be.  
In the year Natsu left, he’d learned how to harness that new side. The more he used it, and the more the black markings covered him, the more empowered he felt.

And he finally realized that the only thing preventing him from seeing Natsu happy because of him was his inaction. By choosing to stay on the sidelines he’d been the one hampering things. And if he stepped up then Lisanna and even Lucy would pale in comparison. He’d finally get Natsu’s focus. He’d finally have that unending bright grin aimed at him. And Natsu would realize he’d been there all along. 

And then as if it was fate Natsu came here. To him.

His eyes focused on the sleeping form as his mind came back to the present.

He reached out and cupped the dragon slayers face, brushing a thumb across the smooth skin. Humming at the feel he drifted his hand up to run his fingers thru the pink strands, marveling at the softness. They felt like a feather, were even soft like one.

He ran his fingers across a bare, firm chest, down to strong muscles of a nicely built torso. 

He exhaled a shuddering breath, trying to get his brain to click on the fact that after all this time he finally had the dragon slayer before him.  
He moved onto white pants and slowly, deliberately applied a feather like touch to the hidden gem under the bagginess’; his eyes locking onto the lax face. 

No reaction as he expected, he pressed more firmly, curious about Natsu’s size and curious to see if Natsu would wake. 

A slight twitch in the unconscious male’s face was his reward. He moved up slowly, firmly deciding he didn’t really want to wait for Natsu to wake on his own.

After all he’d waited too many years already.

~

Natsu slowly felt sensation and thought return. His first clear thought was that he was on a soft bed; strangely enough. Definitely not where he last was, which come to think of … where had he been?

The second thought was at the strange firm like motion down below. He felt his eye brows furrow and he quickly struggled to pry his eyes open. His mouth parted but a small gasp shook loose as he comprehended the slowly growing motions and the fact that he couldn’t move his arms. 

With a climbing sense of worry he jerked his eyes open and settled on the pale hand with familiar markings wrapped almost lovingly around and slithering up. 

His sage green eyes snapped to the offender, “wha what the Hell, Gray!”

Blue eyes looked back blankly. They looked devoid for a moment before dark delight took over.  
Natsu felt his throat clog and a churning fear lodged itself in his chest. 

This isn’t Gray…

He eyed the black ink that took over much of Gray and he remembered. Remembered shouting out for Gray, demanding him to show himself. Recalling the set determination he felt as he stared Gray in the face after a year apart. 

Gray gave off a new vibe, which he attributed to his devil slaying magic. His hair was flared out away from his face, giving him an almost intimidating feel. Almost gave him an air that whispered of a threat.

Gray had accused him that he was at fault for Gray joining a dark guild. Though they had thrown normal- their typical insults; Gray’s had been spiked with actual spite.

It was all too clear that a fight was inevitable. Gray was clearly not going to listen. That was fine; after all fighting was their thing. The way they tended to solve things; but it became blatantly swift that Gray was aiming to hurt. Each punch or kick was aimed to quickly end the fight, aimed to knock him out. 

And clearly Gray would hurt him to do so if he had too.

You’re an idiot Natsu! Always bringing destruction and pain to those around him; that’s why Igneel left you!

Natsu grinded his teeth as he recalled the bitter words that caused him to hesitate. He knew Gray had only said those words to shock him. It’d worked of course, Gray had timed it perfectly. And now here he was strapped to a bed, unable to move his arms and the worst thing? He couldn’t call his fire. 

Gray drifted his fingers up to the white pants and gave it a light tug, jolting Natsu and watching as the pinkette swallowed tightly.  
“I’m sure you’ve noticed but you can’t access your fire.” He paused as Natsu’s face twitched slightly, he gestured vaguely to the brown leather straps that held Natsu’s hands to the red silken bedding. “The straps bind your magic.”  
Natsu grimaced feeling the dread increase. 

“Why?” That was all he could manage at the moment. 

Gray tugged at the pants, slowly pulling them down. His member twitching at the thought of seeing something he’d only ever been able to dream of. 

“Isn’t it obvious?” Gray hummed out. 

Natsu shook his head. Gray eyed the motion, wondering if it was in denial or if Natsu truly was that oblivious to his feelings.

Perhaps it was a bit of both. 

He turned his gaze to the slightly hardened cock, noting the slow motions really hadn’t done much to get Natsu in the mood. Well now that the teen was awake…

He slowly wrapped his trembling fingers – the ache of finally about to touch Natsu fluttering under his skin; feeling the younger male jerk with a stuttered gasp. 

“Gray!” Natsu could only stare at the cold hand wrapped around him in utter disbelief.  
“What are you doing!?”

Gray’s gaze darted to his face for a moment before a smirk settled on his features. It was kind of weird because part of his face was covered in black. It made him seem dangerous.

“You seem a bit slow on the uptake, Natsu.” Gray uttered teasingly. He watched as a defiant, angry glare settled on the dragon slayers face. He waited a beat, Natsu parted his mouth and he swiftly glided his hand up and down earning a chocked stuttering noise.  
It was beautiful.

He brushed a thumb over the head, receiving a sharp intake of breath and shuddering jerk.

“St-stop!” Natsu clenched his fingers tightly into the fabric of the sheets, his breaths coming out stilted like he couldn’t get enough air.  
Gray regarded Natsu, whose exotic eyes were held tightly shut. Hmm that wouldn’t do… he wanted to see those gems; wanted to see those sage green eyes, dark with tears. 

“No,” Gray hummed out. “I finally have you after all this time.” He paused as he watched Natsu’s eyes blink open to regard him in confusion, “I’m going to claim you. You Will be mine.” Seeing a frown slowly form, he added “Mine, not Lissana’s and not Lucys. Not anyone else’s. Mine!”

Natsu worked his mouth, his thoughts a swirling mess of confusion. It didn’t help his thinking ability as that cold almost icy hand glided up and down in what was slowly becoming torture that he’d never felt before. 

“I… I don’t,” Natsu managed, he licked his suddenly dry lips inwardly cringing as Grays eyes seemed to follow the motion, a deep hunger in his gaze, “wha – what do- I don’t…”

Gray cocked his head a clear silent query. Natsu just stared, unable to muster the words.

Gray grinned in clear amusement, “I’m going to fuck you Natsu.” 

“What!?” Natsu exclaimed eyes wide as he started at the dark certainty in the dark haired face. 

Gray stilled his hand, much to Natsu’s momentary relief, though it was over shadowed by his need to understand he was seriously hearing what he thought he was hearing.

“You heard me,” Gray almost snarked the words. He felt indignant at the thinly veiled panic in Natsu’s words.  
Natsu took a shuddering breath, “Gray… y-you can’t,” he huffed, willing the terror down, to breath damn it; “you can’t m-mean that.”

“Oh?” 

The word sent an icy dread down his spin. He swallowed tightly, why was Gray acting like this!?

Gray continued, distantly enjoying the slowly creeping fear that was taking root in Natsu, “but I do mean it.”  
Natsu growled, “But why!?” Didn’t Gray get what that would mean he’d do?

“Have you really sunk so low!?”

“Ah,” the soft reply stilled his angry words and he glared.

“I suppose,” Gray mused, “I’ve always been low.”

Natsu’s brows furrowed, his lips thinning.

Obligingly Gray continued, “I’ve always wanted to touch you, to claim you; no matter how I did it.” It had been deeply hidden in the back recesses of his mind; while he wanted Natsu happy, to smile. His resentment at others being so close to and able to even causally touch Natsu had slowly dug a deep, practically bottomless hole in him. 

Whispers would greet him at night while he lay in bed unable to sleep due to night terrors about all the things he wanted to do to Natsu. Even in the light of day, when he was nursing a cold beer at the Guild after a tough mission; after having to look but not touch the pinkette, the whispers would fill his head. Their persistent song promising; that which he craved so much; if only he would reach out and take.

These ugly thoughts, this dark desire had stemmed from resentment. What kind of person would think such things about a friend, a guild mate, about family?

In that way he was defiantly low. But while he’d cared then, felt guilty when he’d look at Natsu’s wonderfully blinding grin- trusting at that; but then - then he acquired the devil slaying magic. And then he couldn’t comprehend why he had felt guilty. 

He’d always been there for Natsu. And he would finally show Natsu that he loves him and would always love him. That no one else would ever love him as he did. And that the dragon slayer was his!

His new power would see to that.

Natsu searched Gray’s face, but all he could see was truth. 

“I love you Natsu.” Gray uttered almost reverently. “I’m going to show just how much,” he ended with a purr.

Natsu was blindsided by the word love not even sure what to think about that, let alone feel. But his musing was abruptly cut short as Gray deftly pulled off his pants and under garment swiftly – his stripping habit clearly coming into play here. 

“Gray!” Natsu shouted, jerking his arms in a futile effort to free them. 

Gray ignored the shout, his focus settling on Natsu’s slight erection. He shimmed out of his dark coat, letting it fall in a billow onto the floor. His remaining articles immediately fallowing. 

Natsu’s breath hitched and he strained for his magic, but not even a flicker echoed in him. Fuck!

Gray grasped the organ with growing excitement, hearing a muted protest. 

Natsu frantically searched for the words to stop this, what could he say to his once comrade who didn’t seem to be the person he knew?  
When Gray shifted onto his legs jarring his thoughts to a halt, he couldn’t help but well stare.

Sure he’d seen Gray naked plenty of times. Everyone in the guild – and outside of it had. That was kind of the norm when someone had a strange stripping habit. But he’d never really looked before. 

And he had to swallow around the tight stone in his throat. Because Gray was built, he had rock solid muscles and fairly handsome face (and Natsu was thinking this objectively okay!?)

And damn Gray was huge. His cock was bigger than his – he had to ignore the sting of that pretty hard; the thick veins, the flush of his cock and Natsu felt his cheeks flush in a way they’d never before. 

Holy shit!

There was no way he was thinking about Gray in that way!

He’d – he’d just never thought he’d see another guys’ erection. He couldn’t keep a grimace from showing as his cock twitched at the sight of Gray’s huge bulge. 

It was defiantly hormones. There was no way he was the slightest bit turned on. 

Lost to his never before musings Natsu missed Gray grabbing a bottle and pouring some liquid onto his hand. He certainly noticed when a lone finger circled his hole and he jerked with a stutter of, “D-don’t!”

Reality slammed back into him, “Gray stop!”

Gray gave him a deadpanned look as if he was being unreasonable. 

And the words he’d been searching for earlier that should hopefully put an end to this, burst forth like a wave cresting down “Th-this is rape!” 

Gray stilled, head tilting as he watched Natsu heave. Then his eyes darted back down to Natsu’s growing cock. He shifted so that he could grip those strong, powerful legs, “I know.” and pushed them apart to have better access at Natsu’s hole.

Natsu’s breath hitched his eyes staring blankly up at the white ceiling as the flat, emotionless words settled in the air. Gray sounded like what he was about to do was nothing; nothing to concern himself with. 

A wet finger pressed against his hole, “How can you do this?” Natsu whispered, his heart aching. 

When silence greeted him; and the finger applied light pressure he grit his teeth and snapped; “Where did your morals go!? How can you-how can you do something so vile!?” 

Gray glanced up, his eyes shadowed, “Is it?” he stared at the angry flushed face, “is it so vile if you clearly react?”

He watched the snarl snap like lighting across that beautifully flushed face, “Don’t.” the words came out slow, hard. “Don’t you dare.”

Gray shrugged, “who says I ever even had any morals.” Gray paused, glancing to Natsu’s legs pondering strapping them down in a certain position, “I agreed with being low earlier – didn’t I?”

A moment then, “I love you and I’m willing to do anything to have you.” And with that he thrust his finger in.  
Natsu jerked wildly with a pained shout. It burned. 

Gray shifted his finger earning a strained grunt, “breathe, otherwise it’s going to hurt.”

He proceeded to push in and out and move in all possible directions inside that warm heat. 

Natsu snapped his eyes tightly shut, his head shifting back an forth; a second finger entering had a whispered, “no.” leaving him.

He tried to will his fire into existence, but only emptiness greeted him. He couldn’t stop the betrayal that stung his chest, even though he knew it was the bindings doing and not his magic’s fault. 

He chocked as a third pushed in his mouth moving silently.

Once Gray felt Natsu was prepped enough he pulled his fingers out. Grabbed the lube again and coated his swollen, throbbing erection. He lined up with Natu’s puckered hole with overwhelming anxiousness. 

Finally.

As he pressed the tip of his head against that hole, Natsu jerked wildly, “Don’t! Please Gray!”

The utter desperate panic in those words caused Gray to still. He shifted his focus to the flushed face, seeing the panic – the terror. But it was the tear stained cheeks that did it. He had always hated seeing Natsu cry. Even worse these tears were because of him.

And something jolted in his chest. He was finally going to claim Natsu. So then why – why did Natsu look terrified? Why did unshed tears glisten in his sage green eyes? 

He loves Natsu. He wanted – needed to show him how much.

Because then perhaps Natsu will love him too.

He dropped his gaze to Natsu’s erection, though the body could become turned on thru certain stimulus – it was also possible that it wouldn’t to certain stimuli.

“Natsu?”

He sat back watching as Natsu slightly relaxed, a shaky huff following.

“Do you feel anything towards me?”

Natsu looked confused. 

Grunting, Gray almost snapped, “Do you feel interest for me at all?” he eyed the younger male’s face for a beat, “like love? Heat? Lust?”

Natsu bit his lip, shivering at the way Gray eyed the motion. “I-I”, words failed him. His gaze dropped to Grays cock, and he had to swallow tightly and answered honestly. “I don’t know.”

Humming thoughtfully, Gray shifted to his knees fingers lightly caressing a firm thigh, marveling at the twitch. 

“Let me try something.” Gray uttered softly. Because faced with the trepidation in Natsu’s face – terror from him rubbed him the wrong way.  
Carefully he gripped Natsu’s girth, earning a stilted hitch but no protest followed. Feeling better about that, he slowly wrapped his mouth around the pink tip receiving a loud gasp.

He swiftly jerked down on the cock, letting the head press up against the roof of his mouth and sucked.

Natsu bucked wildly, his head jerking to the side while his fingers yanked up on the silken sheets. 

And oh.

He’d never felt such a sensation. A wanton moan escaped earning a pleased hum from Gray even as the devil slayer settled his hands on Natsu’s thighs to prevent the younger teen from thrusting.

Gray bobbed his head up and down swirling his tongue till Natsu was writhing under him, breaths coming in pants as he failed to stem the stream of moans. 

A breathy “Gray!” had the raven feel a curling warmth settle in his chest. He ceased sucking, slowly dragging his tongue up the pulsating cock, briefly running his tongue over the pink swollen head. Natsu moaned trailing off into a sharp whine as the wonderful heat retreated.  
Gray settled his gaze on the half lidded stare, flushed and sweaty face and parted lips and smiled. He brushed his fingers thru damp bangs before trailing down the side of the teens face and cupped Natsu’s cheek.

He leaned down, slowly with deliberate intent. Watching as the younger male registered the action; and pressed his mouth to trembling lips hearing a noise catch in Natsu’s throat. He pressed his aching erection to Natsu’s and slowly almost tentatively brushed his tongue over Natsu’s bottom lip; silently asking for permission. 

There was a moment in where they were still. Natsu closed his eyes and floundered. The press of their lengths together was doing something weird to his lower belly – a good weird. 

That it was terrifying. 

Gray pulled back; “Natsu?” the word was said so imploringly that Natsu couldn’t stop the utter shudder that wracked his body. 

A part of him ached. So he nodded, because despite all of this he was curious. 

And Gray was looking at him so intently, like he was the only person in the world to the raven. And that he mattered. 

The word – love floated thru his head. 

And so when Gray pressed his lips against his again and a tongue glided wetly over his bottom lip, he opened his mouth.

The ice-make user was quick to dip his tongue into the moist heat, marveling at how hot Natsu’s mouth is. And he reveled in the taste, in the quiet gasp and the shudder that rolled thru the pinkette beneath him. 

Oh how he had longed to kiss Natsu. To know what he tasted like. He was sure he tasted a bit of smocked cinnamon – he wondered if he was imagining it. 

He ran his tongue over solid teeth, careful on the sharp canine ones, before pressing at the top of Natsu’s mouth earning a groan before sliding over Natsu’s tongue. 

Natsu couldn’t stop the load moan at the action, the sensation so strange and 

Shit- Gray’s tongue was in his mouth!

He felt a burst of heat in his lower belly and his cock throbbed and his mouth trembled. 

Fuck

Because when no - shit how had he not realized he liked – liked Gray!

Before he could kiss back – having not even thought to do so too shocked in his sudden revelation; Gray pulled away.  
Gray studied Natsu’s swollen lips, lightly smirking in satisfaction. 

“Well?” jarring Natsu from his stupor. 

Natsu gaped up at Gray, his mouth moving uselessly. 

Gray hummed then gripped Natsu’s shoulders and grinded their erections together.

Natsu’s head jerked back, a startled yell burst forth.

“Y-you bastard!” 

Gray snorted and repeated the action earning a delicious moan and Natsu bucking up to create more friction. 

“So you do feel something.” 

Natsu looked like a deer in headlights for a long moment before his cheeks darkened farther – close to the color of a rose and his eyes glanced away in a show of shyness.

It was utterly adorable.

“Cute.” Gray stated with oozing smugness.

Natsu whipped his eyes back with a heated glare “Th-that doesn’t mean what you did was right!? Or okay!?”

Gray grimaced an actual slice of guilt cutting so deep, it was like a physical blow. 

Natsu saw the vulnerability and pounced “why Gray? Why… why didn’t you just - just TELL me how you felt!?” 

Gray couldn’t hold that burning - damning glare, shame slamming into him as if Erza had struck him down with her sword. 

“I…I” he worked his mouth and jerked upwards, settling onto his knees as he stared down blankly at the younger male. 

“I don’t know…” he whispered into the ensuing silence.

Natsu was quick to roar “That’s not good enough! You planned to rape me, Gray!? Rape!” snapping the word out in utter disgust.

Gray stared down at Natsu’s dwindling erection, itching to wrap a hand around it and proceed to just ignore Natsu’s words. Ignore the bitter truth….

And yet he wasn’t sure why he didn’t just tell Natsu. He’d always felt threatened by Lisanna and Lucy and…

Oh

With a shuddering breath “I always thought you were into girls.”

Natsu frowned tightly, hearing the pain in Gray’s voice, but before he could think of what to say the other continued. 

“You always looked so happy around them. And all we ever seemed to do was argue and fight….”

He glanced up and met those shining sage orbs and whispered haltingly. “I just wanted you to look at me and smile because of me.” His hand fisted and shook, “I wanted to be the one to make you happy. You gave me light – you slowly filled my world of darkness, allowed me to face this world; to want to continue to exist – to live. You – you tore down my walls and made me love you. You saved me and I wanted…”  
The words trailed off into the air, and Gray exhaled at the deep echoing of such hidden truths. 

“Wanted what?” Natsu spoke softly barely a whisper partly afraid he’d shatter this; whatever this was and lose something he couldn’t live without. 

Gray cupped Natsu’s cheek with a trembling hand, “I wanted to save you too.”

Natsu’s lips trembled and he tried to swallow around the tightness in his throat. 

“Gray…”

Gray parted his mouth – and the markings moved. 

Natsu stared wide-eyed and watched in morbid fascination as the marks slithered like snakes and…

Devil slaying magic…

Was it possible – was it this new magic- had it corrupted Gray!? Because through this entire exchange – since he first met up with Gray after a year apart he’d been cloaked in those dark markings. 

It was a magic meant to slay demons…

“Uh hey,” the odd hesitancy captured Grays full attention. 

“Do you think you could – hmm turn off your devil magic?” he inwardly grimaced at the word choice. He bit his lip – worrying at it, feeling a chill down his spin at the sharp desire that flashed across the ravens face.

Would turning it off even help?

Gray regarded him with careful neutrality, but beyond that Natsu could see the hidden hostility. 

“Why?”

Throwing caution to the wind, “Because I think that magic is effecting you adversely!? (Idly Natsu wondered if he even used that word correctly – thank Lucy for even knowing the word)

“Please Gray! Just turn it off.” 

Gray frowned plaintively feeling his heart hurt at the pleading tone.

With almost a put upon sigh he slowly released the magic, only to nearly topple back words when it sprang back. 

Both their shock was telling.

Stark determination settled onto Natsu’s face, “Gray,” Immediately gaining the slowly panicking raven’s attention. “It’s your magic! Yours! You control it.” He stared fiercely into clouded eyes, “Don’t let it control you!”

Natsu fervently wished that at least one of his hands was free so that he could grab Grays shaking arm and do something.  
If only he could burn it! If only he could…

“Gray!” his voice almost frantic, “release one of my hands – or both – I need my magic!”

It was clear in the way Gray’s features tightened he didn’t much care for the suggestion – shit.

Growling he snapped “Ice Princess!”

Gray blanched at the familiar not Insult and stared into sage green eyes, trying to convey his will to him. And before he could lose his nerve, with trembling hands he made quick though fumbling work of the leather straps on Natsu’s wrists. 

Because he saw those exotic eyes asking Gray to trust him. And Natsu for all his recklessness and stupid moments and destructive chaos Natsu was loyal. 

He felt an odd pulse but couldn’t pinpoint what it was but his hands slipped in their haste as somewhere in his mind he registered the danger.

The second the leathers snapped free, Natsu gripped so tightly to Gray’s pale and dark skin that Gray felt it in his bones.

A surge of wild heat flared across his skin and Gray almost tried to yank away but this was Natsu and he trusted Natsu not to hurt him.

The fire licked at his skin dangerously before flaring in a brilliant orange and seemed to swallow up the dark markings. A strange almost tearing like sensation tore thru him before he felt as if the flames were burning. 

But he was fine and his gaze fixed to the markings and gaped as they withered as if in pain.

Then as quickly as the heat struck the flames abruptly vanished with a sizzle; the dark markings glowed for a long moment and before he could wonder at the strangeness, another hand grabbed him and jerked him forward. 

Lips smashed to his in ferocious kiss, a stuttering gasp cutting off as Natsu’s tongue practically forced its way in. 

It lasted moments that when Natsu jerked back, with glaring eyes and a sharp growl Gray could only stare in utter shock, “You control it.”

And for the first time in over a year, his head felt empty. The whispers were gone.

Natsu dropped Gray’s arm and couldn’t help the smug smirk. He hadn’t know for certain if burning the markings currently on Gray would work, but he had burned Zero’s magic back during Nirvana. It was a similar concept. He just had to burn the dark mass and not pale skin.  
Luckily he was super proficient at control.

Gray stared in stupefied shock. His head felt normal again. His eyes stared sightlessly at his pale, marking free skin.  
And the dawning realization was quick to drown him. The devil slaying magic had preyed on his desire, his hidden insecurities.  
It had been so slow he never even…

When Natsu had left so abruptly it had taken advantage. The smoke hadn’t even cleared in the wake of his father’s second death. He’d been torn raw all over again.

He felt bile rise and oh god – he’d almost…

“Hey,” Natsu said softly. 

And the dam broke, and Gray sputtered out brokenly, “God! Natsu! I – I almost… Shit.” His words trailing off becoming nothing more than intelligible mumbles. 

“I’m sorry!” he shouted despairingly, knowing deep down that he deserved Natsu’s hate – his resentment. 

“And you call me an idiot.” Natsu said musingly, his tone scarily soft as if he was speaking to a scared child. 

He reached up and gently cradles Grays tear stained face, smiling softly at the soulful look. “It wasn’t you.”

The unshakable certainty in those words wrapped around Grays aching heart and he could do nothing but believe.

Because no matter what anyone said about Natsu, he was kind, loyal and honest; bluntly so at times. 

He didn’t deserve someone like Natsu.

But then he was a very selfish person. 

He gently with trembling fingers grasps Natsu’s right hand and carefully pulls it down away from his face. Giving a light squeeze as words stuck in his throat, around a growing ache of lump he couldn’t seem to swallow down. 

He burrowed his head into Natsu’s neck; his chin pressing into the soft material of the dragon slayers most prized possession and just breathed; inhaling the scent of just Natsu.

Natsu made an odd noise at the move, lightly flinching as their bodies pressed firmly together. Though his throbbing need down below was now practically nonexistent a sharp jolt made its self known as Grays withered cock settled against his. 

He held his hands in the air, unsure what to do. Gray didn’t seem to be planning on moving anytime soon. 

Slowly, tentatively Natsu wrapped his arms around the raven in a loose somewhat embrace. 

Gray huffed a breath, causing Natsu to shiver at the hot, moist air fawning his neck. He was pretty sure this was the first time he’d ever been hugged by Natsu.

He was so lucky and grateful to have met the pinkette. 

Gray’s hand found Natsu’s chin and tilted his head a little away from where his neck pressed; much to the younger teen’s confusion and gave into the urge he’d been surpassing since burrowing his face so close to the fire mages skin. He slowly ran his tongue upwards across the smooth flesh, savoring the slight salty tang.

“Ah-h,” the startled moan slipped out before Natsu could even think of stilling it, his fingers curving to grasp at pale skin. 

The second lick held a scrape of teeth causing Natsu to shudder with a hitching breath and pressed his eyes shut as the feeling seemed to linger. And a part of him just ached.

“Uh Gray?” Natsu hesitantly voiced once his breathing was normal. 

Gray pulled back with half-lidded eyes and Natsu struggled to get the next swallow down, his arms settling down against the soft, silken red.  
How can Gray still look at him like that?

Like he’d hung the stars and sky up for him…

Gray brushed a pale finger over the wet patch of skin, enjoying the way Natsu’s breath hitched and a flush of pink bloomed across those lightly tan cheeks. 

“You were so bold moments ago,” Gray smirked teasingly, though his lips twitched a little.

Natsu couldn’t help but gape up at Gray, because really!? He’d kissed Gray earlier in the frantic pace earlier thinking it’d send a clear message. 

Never mind the fact that he probably hadn’t necessarily needed too. Despite the shit Gray had said and done since he’d woken up – he did feel something. And even though it was clear now the Devil magic had been dictating Gray’s actions and probable words – he’d still been almost raped.

He nearly gagged at the thought. 

Gray was quick to frown at the warring emotions on Natsu’s face. Lightly he brushed over a cheek, jarring Natsu to snap his glaring gaze to Gray’s bowed head. 

“I’m sorry,” Gray whispered, the words coming out from the very bottom of his heart; because he had almost done something irrevocable.  
He wouldn’t have been able to live with himself had he gone thru with it. Wouldn’t have been able to so much as look Natsu in the eyes ever again or anyone from Fairy Tail – if he’d had succeeded. 

Tears stung his eyes; Natsu had stepped in and stopped him again. Just like the time he’d almost used Iced Shell against Lyon and later Deliora. 

Natsu had saved him from doing something he’d regret for the rest of eternity.

He’d never be able to repay all that Natsu has done for him. The turning ache in his heart threatened to suffocate him. 

“I understand if you hate me now,” he took a shuddering breath trying to will the tears to not fall, “if you can’t forgive me- I”  
“Shut up!” Natsu snapped, his words a thundering growl, he surged up enough to slam a heated flame into Gray’s cheek. The raven jerked back from the force but managed to prevent himself from plunging off the side as if the bed was a steep cliff instead.

“It wasn’t you!”

Gray stared blurrily at the dragon slayer as he lost the fight against his tears again, the water cascading down in torrents of aching despair and possible relief. 

“B-but,” Gray managed.

“I don’t hate you – you damn stripper!” Natsu hissed.  
“b-but I almost…” 

“I know,” Natsu whispered, “but you didn’t.”

Gray stared into that solemn face feeling like he was floundering, “But that’s… I still – I still meant what I said.”  
Natsu’s brows furrowed.

Gray hunched a little though he kept his gaze steadied, “I – I do love you.” Those words shouldn’t be so damn hard to admit too. But words were not their thing. Yet something in his bones; almost in his soul knew that if he didn’t use words here things would not be okay. “That magic; it didn’t make me feel that - didn’t…” He shook his head as he inwardly struggled to give voice to his conflicting turmoil.  
Natsu could see Gray meant it, or thought he did. Did the ice bastard mean everything he’d said? That was a little unnerving if so…

Yet thinking and doing were two different things. And people had a conscious to stop themselves from crossing a line. He could only hope that if Gray before the devil magic had ever thought of raping him he’d never of actually done so. Honestly it felt more like the devil magic had mega watt amplified things. 

So without the devil slaying magic it was highly unlikely this result would have come to pass.

It hurt right down to his bones though because a part of him wanted those words of love to be real.

“How long?” Natsu murmured. 

Gray worked his mouth silently for a moment, “Since,” his eyes darted away from sage green; inwardly grimacing at having to say this. “Before Lisanna.”

“What!?” Natsu sure has hell hadn’t expected that. “That –that’s a long time!” Shit he’d never even noticed. He thought back but no matter how much he wracked his brain he couldn’t see any kind of tells. Nothing had ever given him a clue that Gray might like him in ways that wasn’t family or rivals.

He gaped at Gray who seemed to be trying to shrink in on himself. Noting Gray’s shoulders were wound tight. 

Sighing, “Why didn’t you just ever tell me? If it was that long, there had to of been plenty of opportunities.” 

Gray scoffed but couldn’t bring himself to shift his gaze from the side, “Everyone in the guild thought you and Lisanna were an item.”  
Natsu made an indignant noise at the word use – of item.

Gray ignored the other, “and then she died – well we’d thought so; and you were grieving. It never seemed like a good time to. Plus I didn’t want to be a rebound.” 

“What?” Natsu unintentionally let loose.

Gray rolled his eyes, there’s that stupid flame brain. “It means that you would have settled.”

After a small muttered oh Gray faced Natsu again, the need to know overwhelming. Just the thought of Lisanna and Lucy had left him burning and drowning and he might not have another chance to ask. “Did you?”

“Eh?” Natsu wasn’t quite sure what Gray was asking.

Simmering Gray was careful to keep it from reaching his voice as he almost hissed out, “did you love Lisanna?”

Natsu exhaled; yea he’d been worried that’s what Gray meant. He took in the others rigid posture and knew it was best to be honest or well to tell the whole bit rather. 

“I – I don’t know.” He shrunk back into the bed a little at the simmering glare that was beaming at him thru blue eyes and quickly added, “Maybe I would of – if she hadn’t died, if I hadn’t grieved for two years.”

“Oh?” Gray uttered.

Natsu couldn’t interpret the tone.

“Was it because she was your childhood friend?” 

“Hmm?” Natsu blinked, “Lis – she believed that I believed in Igneel being a dragon.” He paused as a distant, though still fresh pang struck his heart at the thought of his dad. “She was aware that just because she’d never seen a dragon or pretty much everyone in town didn’t mean that they weren’t real or that they didn’t still exist. And,” he swallowed “that was enough.”

He blinked back a wave of regret, for missing out on two years with her, for not finding her sooner like he’d once promised her. 

“She never treated me like I was too stupid to understand something.” He whispered. “She was always patient with me.”

Natsu gazed up at the white ceiling as the silence stretched, finishing with, and “so maybe I would have.”

Gray felt stunned at the pinkettes words. He’d always known Lisanna had been very close to Natsu. He could see now that it went much deeper then he’d ever dared dream it was. 

“What about now? Would you ever love her if she said she loved you?” 

Natsu didn’t even have to give that some thought, “No. I already said if she hadn’t been gone for two years but she did. And we can’t go back to once was.” Honestly they’d drifted apart, and though he still made time for her it was abundantly clear that those years apart had changed them and left them divergent. 

Gray couldn’t help the blatant relief that filtered thru him, he was sure some of it must have shown outwardly. 

“What about Lucy?” 

Natsu’s mouth closed, he’d been intending to demand why Gray still didn’t tell him even after Lisanna had come back, because if they had gotten together it would have been announced – plus it’d been pretty obvious (he’d thought) that they weren’t as close. 

When Natsu just gave Gray a flat look, the raven added, “You brought a girl home with you Natsu, then proceeded to go on missions with her!”

Natsu sputtered, “it was only one! ‘sides that first one she followed me!”

Almost growling Gray retorted, “You sleep at her house! In her bed! What was anyone supposed to think!?”

And okay fair. Natsu thought sourly. 

“Lucy’s weird – in a good way.” 

Gray rolled his eyes shifting his legs a little; they were starting to cramp and blatantly ignored the low groan below him. He was still straddling Natsu; he was actually surprised that the idiot hadn’t shoved him off now that he could use his fire again.

Natsu sighed, Lucy had filled part of the hole from Lisanna, she wasn’t a replacement, but she’d given him a reason to begin to heal, to move on. But not wanting to say any of that he settled on, “she’s my best friend, and I can’t ever image her as anything else.”

A moments silence then, “So you just decided that I liked one of them and seriously Gray!?” Natsu shouted in pure disbelief.  
Gray brushed four fingers to Natsu chest close to a perk nipple, earning a slight shudder. 

“Do you really think it’s so easy to confess?” he eyed Natsu hard. “And if it looks like that person you like is interested in a girl – possibly two? Why would he like you when you’re male; like him?”

He exhaled softly, “would you take that risk?”

“Over doing something like this!?” Natsu snapped, “damn right!”

“I never took you for a coward Gray!”

Gray glared heatedly, “matters of the heart are different than a battle!”

Natsu scoffed. Stifling silence settled. 

“I never noticed,” Natsu uttered into the tension, watching Gray frown darkly, “honestly I never gave relationships much thought. Finding Igneel was always more important.”

Gray angled his head, fair. “And now?”

Natsu bit his lip losing the battle of not looking below Grays face. Not that it had been very easy really to ignore Gray’s placid cock resting against his. At least it wasn’t sticking up anymore. That would have been way more distracting. 

At Natsu’s prolonged silence Gray reached down and laid his palm over the dragon slayers heart, earning a stilted grunt almost a growl as his hand covered a perked nipple.

“Would you be willing to try?” 

Natsu’s brows furrowed and Gray had to struggle to keep his gaze and thoughts focused rather than staring at Natsu biting his lower lip.  
“You do feel something.” 

Natsu released his lip, “Gray…” He’d admitted to like – liking Gray but after this; though the devil magic’s fault it was still difficult.  
He watched hurt and pain flash onto the others face and he sighed deeply. 

Fuck it. 

“I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to try.”

Gray gaped unsure if his hearing was working correctly. And as he stared practically stupidly at Natsu, the younger teen quirked a small grin and utter elation swept thru him. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d felt this way.

Throwing caution to the wind, he leaned down and swiftly claimed Natsu’s mouth, earning a low noise of protest that he ignored.  
He was easily able to slip his tongue in and he roamed that hot heat and savored that unique taste.  
Natsu pushed at Gray’s shoulders cursing the hell out of the stripper and then promptly lost all thought when Gray wrapped his tongue under his and sucked. He jerked; a hot tingle racing thru his gut.

And a moment later he blindly shifted his right hand to Grays black hair and yanked him farther down to deepen the kiss.  
No way was he letting Gray out do him. He pushed back against Gray’s tongue and just as he was to breach the raven’s mouth cold fingers grazed over his nipple and then tweaked it. Natsu gasped more in shock then pain into Gray’s colder mouth.

Gray hummed in amusement and slowly pulled back, a thin strand of saliva following him before snapping and proceeded to trail down Natsu’s chin. 

“Y-you,” Natsu gasped, “asshole.”

Gray snorted eyes drifting to Natsu’s small erection. He shimmied backwards a little “how about I make it up to you?”  
Before Natsu could voice a thing, Gray wrapped his hand around the others cock and glided his hand up and down in a fast motion. 

“Nngh…” Natsu moaned; his eyes tightly shut.

Gray took that as encouragement and proceeded to twist his hand between slow and fast, before long Natsu was writhing under him again.  
Natsu bit his lip to try and stifle the sounds but the longer that hand moved the harder that became. An unfamiliar tug was growing in his lower belly and he needed that thread to snap!

“Ah… Gray!”

Gray couldn’t help the smile as he watched Natsu coming undone. He tried to burn the way the slayers head was titled, the rosy flush blaring across his cheeks and the way Natsu tried to stem the noises by biting his lips only to pant and twist with need. 

He rubbed a thumb over the leaking pre-cum and smirked at the buck it earned before Natsu was arching off the bed with a startled shout as his vision whited out. 

As Natsu came down from his blissed out state, a wave of exhaustion swept over him. 

Natsu’s eyes snapped open when a lone finger trailed up a thigh before brushing over his hole and he growled. 

“Don’t even think about it.”

“Oh?” Gray inquired, his aching cock wishing to thrust into that tight heat. He’d never gotten to earlier; a small part of him ached at the lost. But he didn’t regret.

Natsu sighed, “Not up to going that far;” which hey that should have been obvious. 

He blindly grappled for Gray’s hand and when he found it a small tired grin surfaced and he entwined their fingers, “let’s take it slow.” He angled his head so that he could regard Gray, who stared agape at him, “we haven’t even gone on a few dates yet.” The stunning smile he received had his heart skipping a beat and Natsu huffed, averting his gaze. Gray shouldn’t be able to pull off sexy.

“Of course darling -,”

“Hey!”

He reached out with his free hand to slide a finger over the dried saliva and wiped it off, steamrolling over Natsu’s protest, “we can go on as many dates as you want.” As long as he got to spend time with Natsu he was happy. And dates included a lot of hand holding and kissing.  
He didn’t realize he was grinning stupidly until Natsu lightly smacked him in the face. “Your being creepy stripper – well more than usual.”  
The words held no bite and plenty of teasing, so Gray ignored them and settled onto the bed next to Natsu. He worked his arm under Natsu’s shoulders and gently pulled the dragon slayer against him. 

Natsu resisted for all of a second before sagging with a huff and pressed his face into Gray’s cold chest, though he did make a disgusted sound; after all his cum was splattered on him. Sleep, however was pulling him under. Everything else could be tended to later, when he couldn’t hear the siren song of dreams calling him.

Fingers found their way into his hair and messaged slowly, a purring moan slithering out. Just as he was about to be lulled to sleep a sudden thought struck him.

“What happened to Lucy and Happy!?”

Gray jolted a curse escaping as he thought about Lucy and Happy’s predicament. 

They’d been left in the dungeon… he wondered if he could put that off…

He looked to Natsu hopefully.

Natsu stated flatly, “Gray.”

Yea he didn’t think so.  
~ End


End file.
